the ol’ razzle dazzle
my grandma is angry at my grandpa because when they went to the doctors the lady asked what he was allergic to and he said his wife
but how do you convince little kids to wear clever costumes they won’t appreciate?
"mommy can i be batman?"
"no you and your brother are going as van gogh and the starry night painting, it’ll be so hilarious and witty"
"i want to be batman though"
"shhhhh mommy needs more followers on pinterest"
What did the pirate say when he turned 80
GO TO HELL THAT WAS CLEVER